last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
