Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
dude i'm inner monologue high
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
