WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
