It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
