Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
