If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
