youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I faked an abortion last night.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize