I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
