This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
