I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
