Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
