i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
