Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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