I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
