worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize