i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Randomize
