One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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