I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
