my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
