yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize