i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
