no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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