Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize