I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
