i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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