I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
