My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You made out with two different species that night
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Randomize
