I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize