Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
