Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
