I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
