as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
