Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
