either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
