hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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