I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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