Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
