just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
