Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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