I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
