I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
