garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
This is not my ceiling
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
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