just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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