if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
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