we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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