so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
