Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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