we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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