Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
