My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
