clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
