i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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