Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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